My “Why” Part 1 of 8: Listening

By Dr. Sarah Shimanek, PT, DPT, WCS, PRPC

Last week, we talked about “why.” I mentioned that part of my why is providing good healthcare, which goes beyond the care we are usually subjected to in the Western medical system, but instead divides into 8 critical factors for human-centered care that truly promotes wellness: Listening, Holistic approach, Coaching, Healing, Support, Caring, Safety, and Thoughtful and through care. The first one we are going to talk about is listening. Have you ever been to the doctor and not felt listened to? 

There are several studies that illustrate the importance of doctors listening to their patients, saying that it improves patient outcomes when patients feel they have been heard. And yet, we have all had experiences or heard of experiences where we didn’t feel a doctor was listening to us. Sometimes having a doctor not listen to what you say might be relatively benign and just annoying, but sometimes it can be extremely frustrating and lead to someone not getting the care they need.

Recently I had my own medical experience with a visit to the dermatologist to check out a couple of spots on my skin. When I went in the first time, I showed him the two spots, he removed one, and he told me to make a new appointment to remove the other. He didn’t ask me any questions, and he was in there about five minutes total, even with the time it took to remove a small mole. (Though I was there another hour before waiting to be seen) Now, maybe this was fine for a visit like this. I wasn’t overly happy but wasn’t completely unhappy. I got the mole removed, after all. 

As I think about my experience, it brings to the forefront how much of our interactions with the medical system in this country are so rushed and make us feel just like a number rather than a person. For simple, straightforward issues, this can be fine, but when we have more complex medical issues, this can make us feel unheard, frustrated, and hopeless. Or maybe even dangerous… let me explain.

When I went back to have the other spot removed, a small cyst, I was shown back fairly quickly after I arrived for my appointment this time. The nurse asked if I was allergic to anything, and I told her I was allergic to a specific antibiotic but that it should be in the chart because I had put it on my intake paperwork. She said she didn’t see it, but she put it in so it would be clearer. So, Immediately the didn't read all the info I provided.

The doctor came in and did the procedure, then told the nurse to send in a prescription for an antibiotic - the one I just so happen to be allergic to and stated in my forms. Luckily, the nurse told him I was allergic, so he said, “okay, another one then,” without actually specifying one. That careless attitude didn’t give me confidence that he saw me as a person or cared about the allergy.

When he was finished with the procedure, he said again to send in a prescription for the same antibiotic that I was allergic to. And this time I had to step in and say “no, I’m allergic,” as the nurse seemed to not want to correct him a second time. 

He didn’t read my chart, wasn’t paying attention when the nurse told him, and never asked me himself if I was allergic to anything. Have you had a frustrating experience with a doctor where you didn’t feel heard?

So, okay, he made a mistake, so does everyone sometimes. In this case, I was paying attention and no harm was done - he eventually prescribed a different antibiotic. But he also failed to tell me anything about the healing process or how to bandage the excision scar, or even clear instructions that I needed to come back to have the stitches removed. Instead, he handed me a little slip of paper that had a few instructions on it and left. There was no opportunity to ask questions, no asking if I had concerns, nothing.

This obviously wasn’t the best example of our medical system at work, but it also wasn’t the worst. In fact, it’s actually pretty typical. This doctor has good reviews online. He came in, took care of the problem, and now it’s gone. He really performed according to what we usually expect, and he did what I needed him to do.

But in our field of pelvic health, this standard can be extremely damaging. When someone comes in with any kind of pelvic pain, whether it's endometriosis, interstitial cystitis, sexual pain, vulvodynia, or really anything, it’s normal for them to tell me they went to at least 3-4 doctors before they came to me for help, and often it’s more. Typically, the story goes that many of the previous doctors dismissed their pain as normal, said it was in their head, or gave them unhelpful advice like “just relax,” things that made them feel hopeless and frustrated. But it often also includes unnecessary and damaging medications or even surgeries that weren’t the right thing because the doctor didn’t listen to the patient.

“One of the best things I can do is just listen to you tell your story.”

One of the best things I can do is just listen to you tell your story. For one, it can be extremely healing just to have someone listen and validate what they have been feeling. Secondly, really listening to the details of your story often allows us to see areas that need to be addressed that haven’t been by other providers.

If you’re ready for someone to listen to what you have to say and tired of your pain being dismissed as normal, contact us to make an appointment today. Let us help put you on the healing path of the life you love living.

And remember to stay tuned to our blog and social media for the rest of our topics on why we do what we do. Next up is Holistic Approach.